


Butyraceous

by trascendenza



Category: Hot Fuzz (2007), Psych
Genre: Gen, my holiday project 2009
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:19:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trascendenza/pseuds/trascendenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"You ever read the mind of a psycho killer whilst firing a gun?"</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Butyraceous

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [gypsyjr](http://trascendenza.dreamwidth.org/16629.html#gypsyjr).

"Butterman," Shawn repeated, looking Danny up and down.

"How butyraceous," Gus said.

"Your parents have a truly twisted sense of humor," Shawn said, patting Danny's shoulder sympathetically.

"It was probably their last name, too, Shawn," Gus said. "That's kinda how it works."

"I can only imagine what your childhood must have been like," Shawn continued, plowing right through the logic.

"Right spiffy." Danny said, grinning. "Least, I think. Ate a bucket of those little red hot peppers when I was seven, all gets a bit fuzzy after that."

"It's okay," Shawn said, gently, patting Danny's back. "You're safe here. Just let it out."

"Once got dragged all through town by a rabid goat," Danny said, proudly. "Really splendid."

*

"Lethal Weapon," Danny said.

"Awesome," Shawn said.

"Die Hard."

"Epic."

"Bad Boys II."

"Are you kidding?" Shawn gestured at Gus. "We were the _stars_ of Bad Boys II."

"We were not --"

"Wait." Danny raised a hand. "Die _Harder._"

"Awesomer," Shawn sing-songed.

"You manage to solve crimes with this buffoon?" Nick said, watching Shawn skeptically.

Gus raised an eyebrow in Danny's direction.

"Hmm," Nick said, conceding. "I suppose they have their moments."

*

"Seriously, I'm starving." Shawn grabbed onto a leaf from the plant in the corner, holding it up. "Is this edible?"

"Do it and die," Nick said.

"Her name's Lily," Danny stage-whispered. "They're in a long-term committed relationship."

"We're not --" Nick considered. "Right, well, I can't deny the accuracy of that."

"Three beautiful years," Danny said, stroking Lily's leaves.

"So that's a no on the edibility issue?" Shawn said.

Gus elbowed him, hard. "Have a little respect, man."

"I'm seventy-thousand miles away from my jerk chicken fix, Gus, I'm down to two percent body fat and subsisting on rainwater. Everything's fair game at this point."

"Would somebody please get this man a hamburger?" Gus said, backing away when Shawn started eyeing Gus' neck, thoughtfully.

"Pub time!" Danny said, doing a little dance move.

"I'm afraid not. We haven't even begun to sift through the twelve boxes of evidence --"

"Sargeant, you might want to --" Gus started, but it was already too late.

"Dear sweet lord Jesus in heaven," Nick said, shuddering, wiping away the stripe Shawn had licked on his cheek. "Pub time."

*

"Is it true that if you try to use your powers to stop a bomb your brain will explode?"

Shawn tapped a finger on his temple. "I'm on my third one."

Danny scooted his chair closer to Shawn's. "What it's like reading my mind?"

"Like wiggling my toes in half-melted butter. Sautéed chives keep getting stuck between my toes."

"You ever read the mind of a psycho killer whilst firing a gun?"

"Repeatedly."

"You ever read the mind of _two_ psycho killers whilst firing _two_ guns?"

"Not, but I've totally done it with _five_ bad guys while firing _three_ guns, _and_ juggling fine china eggs behind my back."

"Boff," Danny said, blinking.

"Think he's finally met his match," Nick said, smiling a little.

"I was about to say the same thing," Gus said. They clinked cranberry juice glasses.


End file.
